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As a former foster child, my passion is advocating for and with foster care youth, publicizing the challenges that they face and addressing their developmental and emotional needs through workshops.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Always Daddy's Girl

I referred to this book in a recent blog entry on my SunshineGirlOnARainyDay page.

Here are some quotes from H. Norman Wright's book:
-"This daughter is emotionally deprived. Early on, she learned to avoid the fear of abandonment and isolation by denying feelings and pain... She is fearful that anyone else she opens her heart to may also be ripped out of her life."

On fear of intimacy:
-"She wants a man in her life, but she is unsure about trusting him. Any violation of trust from the man she cares about is further proof to her that she can't trust any man."

-"She wants to be loved and she wants to be loveable. But anger, mistrust and fear of intimacy with men can keep her from giving herself to a man."

On fear of abandonment:
-"I guess I'm tired of trying to make everything right just like I did when I was a child. I couldn't make men stay then, and now I'm afraid I can't keep you either."

On workaholism:
-"Many fatherless women pour their energy into work as a substitute for the fathering they never had..."

On distant, bystanding fathers:
"As his daughter's first example of a man, this father distorts her concept of how a man should behave, causing her to believe that all men are distant and detached like her father."

On weak fathers:
-"If you are the victim of a weak father, you must give up the idealistic hope that you can ever make him strong."

-"A strong man can turn the tide for a woman whose primary masculine model, her father, was weak. Her new model of strength can be a source of learning and guidance to her, filling the void created by a weak father."

On survival:
"The reason I'm here is because I'm a survivor. I had to be. I know I'm insecure emotionally, but I do survive."


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