Notes from Nethers on saying goodbye

- "And then they were all gone, with scant or no goodbye from me. I felt that refusing to be involved with them was my best weapon. What I didn't know yet was that shutting down is a weapon that turns on the one who uses it.

"By withholding, I harmed only myself, as if love were an unrenewable resource, as if in loving even when we lose, we don't learn the better to love. I didn't know that love that flows freely is not lost, but circles around and comes back again to fill the heart, no matter the distance.

"I was losing more than I needed to. In refusing to let go - to give anything - neither could I receive..."

- "As an adolescent, I suppose I needed to be the one to push away. I was fifteen and hurt and angry, disconcerted by the intensity of my own feelings, and at a loss about how to deal with them, and at sea in my own life."

- "I rarely get the chance to say goodbye to people... Even with casual goodbyes, there is always the uncertainty of whether we will see each other again. This urgency is very alive in my heart. I strive to say what I need to say to people as immediately as I can."

- Sandra Lee Eugster, Notes from Nethers